Today is the day. After 20-some-odd years of griping and groaning, hemming and hawing, kicking and screaming, I’m finally going to do this program, with the intention of finishing it to the end. As I understand it, it is 3 levels of incredible discomfort with a healthy dose of grueling work. The discomfort comes from two sources: having my work judged with all the comments for how it is lacking and how it can be improved upon, and a fair number of research papers and general questions, with some ‘right’ answers and no defined understanding of what that ‘right’ answer might be. The grueling work is also the research papers, knitted swatches, and organizing everything. I suspect I will have to build a library of books as well but I’m hoping that the one I already have will suffice. At the end I will get a pin.

Why do I need a pin? I don’t. But I do have holes in my knitting knowledge and maybe it’s time to fill in those gaps in a systematic way. I don’t seam sweaters, except at the shoulders and sleeves. I learned to knit in the round, so it took 3 years before I found a need to learn to purl. And, I’m curious about the depth of the rabbit hole.

I completed one other course with TKGA about 18 months ago. Like childbirth, that’s long enough to forget the labor pains. It was their Technical Editor Certification course, which in retrospect I think was designed for people who have been through the Master Knitter’s program, and I think that was a major stumbling block for me. Also, I don’t enjoy knitting patterns or looking for errors so that was a stretch.

Why now? Why not just drop it? Do I need to fit in with the club? I have a strong aversion to clubs, sororities, churches, and anything with an in and an out group. I don’t like to organize. I dislike being wrong. And why buy into all of these things, plus the aforementioned pain reported from people who have gone before me? Because their experience, need not be my experience. Because if Life is Joy, as I’m discovering it can be, what would this journey look like through that lens? How long can I hold that perspective? Can I know that Life is Joy even as my work is being critiqued? Can I remember it is a game? That it’s just knitting – that is, not to be taken so seriously? Can I thrive with such structure? Can I remember that those “self-appointed judges” are volunteers whose ultimate goal is to SUPPORT ME in becoming a better knitter? Can I receive criticism constructively? Can I maintain personal power in the face of that? (With the Tech
Editor course, my strategy was to go knit or design something ‘hard’ or ‘intricate’ to deal with the feelings of inferiority that came with every request/requirement for a resubmission due to inferior work). On the knitting side, Can I knit to gauge? (I’ve always made the designer’s gauge work to me). What else don’t I know?

So, today’s the day.